goodness, what a week.

A week of letting go of things long held dear … a big one today.  This morning we said goodbye to our beloved “lil truck”.  It may seem a strange thing to some, but I loved that truck.  We bought it brand new in November ’86 in Santa Cruz, CA.  That truck saw me safely through the Loma Prieta earthquake in ’89 and we counted four trips across the country for various adventures plus being towed another three times back and forth.  It’s last big task was transporting us and a jam-packed load from our temporary digs in Bryson City to our new home in Asheville.  The carburetor finally gave out and along with several other issues, well – the repairs would have been close to $2000 – not an option right now.  So, “lil truck” has been donated to our local public radio station.  A very nice man came today and hauled it away where it will be sold at auction, proceeds going to WCQS.

308,350 miles

308,350 miles

sad Kathy

sad kathy

I’m not looking particulary happy last night as we emptied out the contents.  There were old treats in the glovebox from before we lost Satchel and, needless to say, a fair amount of sand and dog hair from our buddy.  I knew it was time to let the truck go, but that didn’t stop me from crying when it was gone.

goodbye lil truck

goodbye lil truck

Also hard – I decided it was time to part with my American Craft magazine collection dating back to 1978.  Okay, so I didn’t have every issue that far back, but I had a lot.  Those along with an enormous stack of Art Jewelry magazines, DWELL, W and a few miscellaneous others – all went to the library’s magazine exchange.  FIVE canvas tote bags full.  As I was putting them in the bins, it was all I could do to resist pulling a few back out … “oooh that was a good one, maybe I should keep that one too” – but I held back and went through with it.  I did keep my Ornament collection along with a few Metalsmith and FiberArts.  Of course, I have a pretty extensive library of art books – jewelry, both contemporary and antiquities, ancient cultures (my preferred source of inspiration), interior design and design in general and, well, my collection is larger than the local libraries and UNCA library combined.  So, I really shouldn’t be sad.

A few days before that, it was our VHS collection.  The new TV set-up is a bad match for old, scratchey videos.  I’m pretty much worn out from all this hauling and sorting and decisions and, well, just all of it.

On a more positive note, we finally unpacked the rest of our boxes … paintings and treasures are up and out.  Amazing how it almost feels like we live here now – almost.  I can’t for the life of me figure out what else it’s going to take to finally feel settled.  One more very positive – I’m setting up a trade with a dear friend, Deedra Ludwig, which will add to our painting collection.  Very exciting!

The thing about letting all these things go – I’m making room for new things, new experiences, new ideas, new inspiration.  Our whole paradigm for living has shifted and we are in unchartered realms.  That’s why this is all so exhausting – everything is new, things continue to shift.  A good thing …  I know this in my heart, but each experience of letting go leaves me feeling raw and brittle.  All of this repeated “letting go”.   It seems we are not meant to be looking back.  We are building a new life.  I am moving into a new phase in my work.  I am moving forward, untethered, unfurled, free.

This image of a stormy sky fronted by trees beginning to leaf out seems to sum up how I’m feeling – growth in the midst of turmoil.

a stormy spring sky

a stormy spring sky

onward … with enormous gratitude

love and blessings,