The last few days I’ve been writing down snippets of thought, words that come to mind, paths to consider. What I’ve been reading in Ignore Everybody and Seth’s blog is affirming what I’m currently experiencing.
There are no models for where I’m heading.
My history is full of my versions of everybody else’s – well, you name it. Now is the time for my version of ME. There is no GPS setting for that road.
All sorts of metaphors are currently in use. There’s the weeding of the garden. Searching for the incongruous sneaky bits that are bogging me down, my omnivore diet and lack of exercise seem to be fitting in here. Then there’s the driving down the road in the dark – don’t know where I’m going or how I’m going to get there, but I’m going. Then there’s the casting of seeds, I’m exploring all sorts of things.
An interesting side note in the seed casting department. One thing I wanted to do upon moving back to NC was, once again, apply to the Southern Highlands Craft Guild. It’s a very big to-do in this part of the world. Over the years, I’ve applied – unsuccessfully, 3 or 4 times; gotten to various stages of the jurying process, never gotten in. So, here I am again. I thought it would be a good community, meet people, support – all that. Well, I didn’t even get past the photo part this time.
Years past I would have been a snivelling heap; this time it’s just amusing. I have so much confidence in my work, especially the group I submitted for jurying. I don’t have to feel bad that I didn’t get in, because I can pull out the 2007 San Francisco MOMA Holiday Flier. In the 20 or so pages, there were only 5 jewelers and I got the centerfold. That was a thrill and supreme validation.
This guild thing works in the bumper car metaphor … bump, move on, bump, change direction, bump bump bump… just keep moving … trajectory unknown.
onward ………………..
blessings,
kvk
7 comments
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26 June 2009 at 5:02 pm
lynne
woo hoo!! that’s a big ‘ol step forward (the guild thing)!!! onward my friend!! xo
26 June 2009 at 5:11 pm
Kathy Van Kleeck
Such an amazing feeling to not be feeling … to not have my identity tied up in the process. Rejection has never been so sweet.
28 June 2009 at 10:13 am
jeane
I agree with Lynne – huge step – onward with gusto – it’s the only way :) and is it really rejection or just another path….
28 June 2009 at 12:37 pm
Kathy Van Kleeck
Jeane – I think the ‘knee jerk’ word was rejection, but it is absolutely just another path and has really helped me hone in on a few more details. Back to my bumper car metaphor, with great enthusiasm!
So weird about the smiley face thing – I’ll see if I can figure it out.
xo
28 June 2009 at 10:13 am
jeane
yikes, another one of those smiley faces snuck in – are they following me?
28 June 2009 at 12:49 pm
Kathy Van Kleeck
Emoticon update – I found a setting that converts certain text to emoticons – now unchecked. Hopefully no more little smiley faces.
17 July 2009 at 12:42 pm
mansuetude
so much of it is just judgement and perception…
with your attitude on the post, about going your own unique expressive way, there is no guild to belong to anyway; you gotta go down in and pull up and out; make your own gold.
then they’ll come a’drooling after you!
peace